Lost Journals from 2010 – Excerpts from Three Months of Journals Preparing for the Neophyte 0=0 Grade Initiation

2018 Preface

GoldenDawnlogoBack in 2010, I knew very few people who walked an occult path, but I was a firmly devoted solitary practitioner with a solid daily practice. I recently discovered my old magical journals from those days. To those who must walk the solitary path, I recognize that the G.D. system can sometimes seem intimidating. If you find yourself in this situation, I am sharing these excerpts from three months of journals leading up to my Neophyte Grade 0=0 Initiation to show you first, that it can be done! And second, to offer some insight into what was going through  my mind at this time as I prepared for my first Initiation. I also offer some hints into how I approached my practice in my own preparation. May these entries give you hope and encourage you on your path. Take your preparation one step at a time; you possess everything you need to be successful on this Way. Have faith in yourself, for you can do it!

“Inheritor of a Dying World, we call thee to the Living Beauty. Wanderer in the Wild Darkness, we call thee to the Gentle Light. Long hast thou dwelt in Darkness— Quit the Night and seek the Day!”
~ Neophyte 0=0 Grade Initiation 

Excerpts from Three Months of 2010 Journal Entries Preparing for the 0=0

GoldenDawnlogoMoon Phase: Waxing Crescent 13% Full
Sun Position: Afternoon
Time: 3:34-4:07

Activity: Bringing Down the Light, LBRP, Middle Pillar, Rite of Elemental Equilibration, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, Qabalistic Cross, Bringing Down the Light, Qabalistic Cross, Themis Meditation, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe

Today, the LBRP was not as vivid as usual, but after the rapid sequence of the other rituals, the feeling of Light and power became much stronger.  I performed the Themis Meditation for the first time and visualized the godform of the goddess Themis standing tall before me and placing the scales within me, balancing out my being.  She handed me the golden chalice from which to drink, for which I used the water cup and drank some physical water from it as I felt a flood of Light course through my body.

I think there is value to these Meditations as preliminaries for the Initiation ceremony of 0=0.  They help the Candidate (me) to develop a relationship to the godform of Themis and to develop my visualization abilities.  It certainly helps to perform them after the other rituals have been performed to enter the necessary meditative state, however, in which the voice deepens and the attention becomes a one-pointed arrow ready to fire at the target of the meditation.

***

GoldenDawnlogoMoon Phase: Waxing Crescent 22% Full
Sun Position: Afternoon
Time: 3:15-3:40
Activity: Bringing Down the Light, FELIRP, Rite of Elemental Equilibration, Middle Pillar, Circulation of the Body of Light, Themis Meditation, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, Qabalistic Cross

Today’s rituals were smoothly performed and provided the familiar sensations of the washing over of the Light and the vibration of a calming, empowering energy throughout the Middle Pillar.

I performed the Themis Meditation once more, and this time saw the goddess Themis is a far more vivid form.  I saw her in her white robes trimmed in purple and yellow.  When she gave the golden chalice, she said “Drink” in a firm but caring female voice.

After I stood contemplating her while I built up all of the visualizations produced during the rituals towards the end of the practice, I seemed to hear her speak to me, saying:

“I will guide you unto the Light,
I will reveal the Strength,
the Wisdom, and the Compassion,
That are within you,
Walk on on the Path of Light.”

Then she touched my head with her hand and I felt a flood of golden Light.  I will certainly continue the meditation tomorrow.  It is a kind of microcosmic preparation for the Neophyte Grade ritual and introduce some of the techniques of the larger ritual.

***

GoldenDawnlogoMoon Phase: Waxing Crescent 40% Full
Sun Position: Afternoon, cloudy and rainy
Time: 3:05- 3:35

Activity: Bringing Down the Light, LBRP, Middle Pillar, Rite of Elemental Equilibration, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, Qabalistic Cross, Bringing Down the Light, Qabalistic Cross, Themis Meditation, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, Prayer

Today, my heart was not as focused in the ritual as usual, but I still found it very calming on the whole.

In the Themis Meditation, Themis spoke to me in words similar to these:

“Listen, O Son of Adam,
Find in yourself the Light of Wisdom,
The Light of Compassion,
And the Solidity of Strength;
It is nothing but your own Thoughts,
Your own Self-Concepts,
Your own Clinging and limiting Notions
That hold you down.
Let these fall away,
Let them be burned in the Light
And the balance of Mercy and Severity,
So that Strength may be established.
Let fall your notions about yourself,
And be open;
In your openness,
Wisdom, Compassion and Strength
Will flower within you.
Be clear; let the mind be
Empty as awareness;
Simply take action,
Do what must be done,
Give yourself a chance,
And you will find the
Strength you seek,
The Light of Wisdom,
The Light of Compassion,
The Light of Strength
Shines between the Pillars.”

I then held the wand up and stood straight, visualizing the lights of the Middle Pillar in the spheres throughout my body and prayed to the Lord of the Universe to empower me with Wisdom, Compassion, Strength, and Inner Tranquility so that I may live a happy life that is good for me and good for those around me, with whom I live in interdependence, those extensions of my Self.  I prayed also for guidance towards the Light of Truth.   Let the seeking cease and its object be Found! So mote it be! Amen!

***

Moon Phase: First Quarter Moon – 57% Full
Sun Position: Set, night
Time: 9:00-9:44
Activity: Bringing Down the Light, LBRP, Middle Pillar, Rite of Elemental Equilibration, ALU, Maat/Themis Meditation, ALU, Bringing Down the Light, QC

It occurred to me that the words I put into the mouth of Themis yesterday, were precisely that; my own conscious mind, formulating words together that I felt I needed to hear.

However, today, I performed the Maat Meditation and felt I heard her speak to me in a clear voice, these simple words “Walk the Way of the Wise, O Adam, in Truth and Balance.”  I then did a mini-Themis Meditation after which she said simply, “Be Strong.”

I had the sensation yesterday that the LBRP was ineffective, that I still felt anxious and worried.  Today, I feel clearer and more peaceful.  I am thinking of performing the Neophyte Initiation Ceremony next week if I get the opportunity to do so and my tools are more or less finished, though whether or not I choose to do so may depend on the progress I make on the banners.  t may also depend on how comfortable I feel with the material, how ready my Pillars are, whether I find something appropriate or finish constructing the wands and lamens, etc.  We will see.

***

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous – 74% Full
Sun Position: Set, night
Time: 9:00-9:44
Activity: Bringing Down the Light, FELIRP, Middle Pillar, Circulation of the Body of Light, Rite of Elemental Equilibration, ALU, Maat/Themis Meditation, ALU, Bringing Down the Light, QC

Today, I took the advice of Regardie on how to vibrate the names correctly such that they seem to “detonate” in the palms and soles of the feet and there is a tingling sensation everywhere.  This made all the difference; I was able to do it quite loudly since no one was home.  During my Neophyte Initiation, I plan to do just this once again.  I am aiming to perform the Neophyte Initiation ceremony on Sunday or Monday… I have various things to procure before then.

After today’s ceremonial practice, I felt tremendous excitement, joy, clarity, power, and strength.  I feel great enthusiasm about the coming initiation as well.  I must now get to work on preparing the ritual implements so that they may be ready as soon as possible.

A notable aspect of today’s ritual practice was the clarity of the visualization of Maat.

***

GoldenDawnlogoMoon Phase: Waxing Gibbous – 90% Full
Sun Position: Afternoon
Time: 3:30-4:11
Activity: Bringing Down the Light, FELIRP, Middle Pillar, Maat/Themis Meditation, ALU, QC, Rite of Elemental Equilibration, QC

Attending more carefully to the vibratory formula has been truly deepening and enhancing the practice.  I felt truly blessed, in the presence of the sacred today.  I also used the altar with the triangle and the cross today; the symbols gave a greater sense of importance, symbolic power, and reverence to the rituals.   I feel truly peaceful and empowered as well as grateful to the web of life on which I depend for my being.  I am thankful to embrace the Divine in all things as the Brahman that is One without a Second.   It is the Light of this Brahman, this Divinity, that courses through the ritual and empowers the visualizations.   I am thankful and working ever towards the deepening of realization on the Way of Truth.

After touching me in the places of the spheres of light of the Middle Pillar with the Lotus Wand, Ma’at said to me “Walk the way of Truth and Light.”  This, with the Divine blessing, I pray, I intend to do.

***

GoldenDawnlogoMoon Phase: Waxing Gibbous – 98% Full
Sun Position: Afternoon
Time: 2:40:-3:04

Activity: Bringing Down the Light, Qabalistic Cross, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, Thme/Maat/Themis Meditation, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, QC

Today’s short session left me feeling calm and aware of the symbolism of the Hegemon’s wand as the symbol of the higher aspirations of the human being, of “religion, which regulates life,” and of spirituality in a deeper sense.  I only wish I had more time to extend the ceremony and perform the FELIRP and MP once again.  Hopefully, tomorrow, I will do so.

***

GoldenDawnlogoMoon Phase: Waxing Gibbous – 98% Full
Sun Position: Afternoon
Time: 3:30-4:10

Activity: Bringing Down the Light, Qabalistic Cross, FELIRP, Middle Pillar Ritual, REE, Thme Meditation (+ Themis/Maat), Adoration of the Lord of the Universe (x2), Qabalistic Cross

In the past few days, I’ve been constructing all necessary wands, working on the pillars and preparing for the Neophyte Initiation.  All is proceeding quite well.  Today’s rituals brought a sense of peace and purpose.  Towards the end of the ritual, I saw Themis, Maat and Thme all place their hands together on my head and say:

Pursue the path of Initiation in earnest.  In the Ceremony, let your lower self of fear, insecurity and weakness die.  Be reborn a new man of wisdom, compassion, strength and responsibility.  So mote it be!

I feel that my mind is focused on initiation and that the right time is drawing near!

***

GoldenDawnlogoMoon Phase: Waning Gibbous – 93% Full
Sun Position: Afternoon
Time: 3:30-3:57

Activity: Qabalistic Cross, Bringing Down the Light, Thme Meditation (+Themis, + Maat), Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, QC, REE

Today, I performed a shortened series of rituals due to time constraints.  Still, the Thme meditation was particularly successful.  I could hear the words being spoken in the godform’s own female voice, a voice of great beauty.

As yesterday, the three forms of the godform of Thme put their hands on my forehead and said to me:

O ____ let you be initiated truly into the Light, let the Divine Light fill you, let the _____ of insecurity, fear and anxiety die and let you be reborn a Man of Compassion, Man of Wisdom, Man of Strength.  This we pray to the Lord of the Universe, that your initiation may be truly successful.  So mote it be!  This we pray to the Lord of the Light and of the Darkness, Amen.

I added an Amen in my own voice to this beautiful prayer for initiatory success.  I now feel quite peaceful and centered as well as prepared as almost all of the tools are completed and my heart is readying itself for entrance into the Light of the Golden Dawn.

***

To read what happened in the Neophyte 0=0 Grade Initiation Ritual, click here.